Some weird stuff happens in the Bible, no lie, and I’m makin’ a list! Here is what I’m finding in Genesis. There are talking serpents, mysterious giants (the Nephilim!), stolen household gods, a woman who turns into salt, and some family drama that makes the Real Housewives look like a kids’ show.
The Serpent Talks
Genesis opens with a serpent carrying on an actual conversation with Eve. He questions what God said, Eve answers him, and the conversation continues as though talking reptiles are not especially noteworthy.
People Live for Hundreds of Years
The genealogy in Genesis 5 casually reports lifespans of 800 and 900 years. Methuselah tops the list at 969. Genesis does not stop to explain how this worked. It just keeps moving.
Enoch Just… Disappears
Most of the genealogy follows the same pattern: someone lives, has children, lives some more, and dies. Then Enoch breaks the pattern. He walks with God, and suddenly “he was not, for God took him.”
The Nephilim Show Up
The “sons of God” take wives from the “daughters of men,” the Nephilim are on the earth, and the passage mentions mighty men of old. Then, after four famously mysterious verses, Genesis moves right along toward the Flood.
The Animals Come to Noah
Noah is not described chasing animals all over creation and hauling them back to the ark. Genesis says the animals came to Noah and entered the ark with him.
Lot’s Wife Turns Into Salt
Lot and his family are warned not to look back while escaping Sodom. Lot’s wife does look back, and Genesis says she becomes a pillar of salt. That is the entire explanation.
The Blind Mob Keeps Trying
The men surrounding Lot’s house are struck with blindness, but apparently that does not end the matter. Genesis says they wear themselves out trying to find the doorway anyway.
Jacob and the Peeled Sticks
Jacob peels white stripes into branches and places them in front of the flocks while the animals are mating. Somehow, this bizarre breeding arrangement becomes part of the story of Jacob building up his own flocks.
Rachel Sits on the Stolen Gods
Rachel steals her father Laban’s household idols, hides them in a camel saddle, sits on them, and tells her father she cannot get up because “the way of women” is upon her. Laban searches the tent and never finds them.
Jacob Wrestles With… Somebody
Jacob spends the night wrestling with a mysterious man. The man merely touches Jacob’s hip socket and dislocates it, yet Jacob keeps wrestling and refuses to let go without a blessing. His name becomes Israel, and Jacob says he has seen God face to face.
Genesis even adds that Israel therefore does not eat the tendon of the hip socket.
Circumcision Becomes a Weapon
After Shechem violates Dinah, Jacob’s sons agree to intermarriage on one condition: every male in the city must be circumcised. On the third day, while the men are still in pain, Simeon and Levi enter the city and kill them all.
Judah and Tamar
Tamar disguises herself as a prostitute, and Judah sleeps with her without realizing who she is. She takes his seal, cord, and staff as a pledge. Later, when her pregnancy is discovered and Judah wants her punished, Tamar produces his belongings and reveals that Judah himself is the father.
Judah responds that Tamar is more righteous than he is.