Subject: Maya LaCroix
Location: 414 Goodman Way
Alias: “Shadow Jogger”, “That Woman Who Doesn’t Wave”
Initial Entry:
Moved in under the cover of daylight three weeks before Demo Day. No welcome basket returned. No trash-day greeting protocol observed. Red flag.
Notable Behaviors:
- Jogging begins at 4:53 a.m. on the dot. WHO JOGS BEFORE 5?
- Refuses all eye contact unless initiated. Will nod, but only with one lift of the chin.
- Lawn is suspiciously weed-free. Checked—no landscaping service ever seen.
- Seen observing the Patterson garden from behind a pair of very expensive sunglasses.
Working Theories:
- Ex-CIA analyst keeping tabs on who knows what.
- In Witness Protection
- Former pageant queen turned assassin.
- FBI plant monitoring HOA financial fraud (unconfirmed but heavily favored).
Known Associates:
- None publicly.
- Might have nodded at Officer Lambert once—investigating.
Next Steps:
- Invite her to “accidentally” walk into my Ring doorbell zone.
- Monitor trash for clues.
- Review dog poop patterns near her driveway. If neighbors’ dogs are avoiding the area, something’s off.