You broke into a country, ignored the rules, and now you’re mad there are consequences? Newsflash: borders exist for these reasons:National SecuritySovereigntyEconomic StabilityLegal OderCultural Identity & Social Cohesion. Try breaking into a celebrity’s mansion and demanding free housing—see how far that gets you. It’s not racist. It’s called law. MIC DROP: You don’t lock your … Read more
Big Doggo Made Big Promises — And Heckin’ Kept ‘Em! Big Doggo Trump told all da hoomans he was gonna do big stuffs last year — and he did a heckin’ lot, no bones about it. 🦴 He stopped da Biden belly-growls (dat inflation thingy). He built a big ol’ fence to keep da border … Read more
No Sniffin’ Elon’s Snacks: Trump Says “Let All the Biz Bois Woofin’ THRIVE!” Evrywone sayin I gonna ruin Elon’s zoomies by takin away his big treat stash from da big hooman gov. Dis a heckin’ lie! I want Elon — and all da biz bois in Snacklandia to THRIVE. Like tail-waggin’, zoomin’, biscuit-stackin’ thrive! Da … Read more
UN Said “No Thanks” to Good Bois, Picked the Bitey Bois Instead 🚨 Big yaps! Da IDF said, “We’ll walk the snack-trucks in ourselves!” But da UN said, “Nah, we’d rather let the scary neighbor dogs handle it.” Yep. UN chose heckin’ Hamas to guide da goodies instead of the good bois. Ruff decision, pals.
If you flew to an island where children were being trafficked, I don’t care how many movies you made, how much money you donated, or how many speeches you gave about “protecting democracy.” You’re not misunderstood. You’re complicit. And I hope your plane loses cabin pressure at 30,000 feet. Just say you were never invited … Read more
Isn’t it weird how everybody seems to know who didn’t go to Epstein Island, but nobody can quite say who did? Funny how billionaires get better NDAs than most people get healthcare.But sure—let’s raid the single mom with student loan debt. That’s the real threat. Justice is blind…and apparently asleep.
Treats, Yaps & Teamwork: Pawlippines Joins the Pack! President Big Yap Marcos from the Pawlippines just left the Big White Kennel after a pawsome visit with his whole pack. We did a giant treat-pact — the Pawlippines opens up the bone market to the U.S. with zero chew-tax. The Pawlippines will pay a 19% treat … Read more
Pammy B Unleashes the Hounds on Maxwell – All the Yaps Will Be Heard Statement from @DAGToddBlanche: Dis Departmint of Just-Us doesn’t roll over from uncomfy chew toys, nor does it chase tail instead of fetchin’ justice wherever da sniff trails go. Da barkin’ from DOJ and FBI on July 6 still smells right as … Read more
Previously on DOOL: Sawyer was trying her best to juggle everything—her remote work, the ever-increasing HOA dues, and her burning desire to turn Dem Boyz into the next big thing in pet commercials. The dogs were driving her mad today, but in a good way. Riggins, as usual, was lolling around on his back in … Read more
Man, it’s summer and there is water everywhere—ponds, rivers, lakes, oceans, swimming pools —and yet here we are, curled up in $8 Sam’s Club pants, avoiding water like it’s the flu. Whether it’s fear, trauma, or just a healthy dose of “hell no,” there are a million good reasons to stay dry. And you know … Read more