Previously on DOOL: Sawyer wasn’t trying to be nosy. Not exactly. It was just that the side gate behind the Ferguson house was open, and the hydrangeas looked… aggressively hydrated for a place no one had lived in for months. Riggins trotted beside her like he was on patrol. Leash slack. Nose working. Russo dragged … Read more
Previously on DOOL: The Clubhouse was half full, mostly regulars who had nothing better to do on a Tuesday night. Sawyer sat in the back row, close to the exit – just in case Kyle McArthur got long-winded about shrub height regulations again. Spoiler: he did. “Section 12-C of the Landscaping Standards states that shrubs … Read more
Previously on DOOL: Sawyer had just finished scrubbing fertilizer off her hands when the HOA email hit her inbox with that annoying ding sound. Subject line: Violation Notice: Unapproved Landscaping ActivityShe zoomed in on the attached photo. It was a pixelated image of Blake Patterson’s front shrubs – as if the camera had a personal … Read more
Previously on DOOL: Hawthorne Grove had always been a neighborhood of routine. Everyone knew everyone’s business—whether they wanted to or not. The same faces, the same passive-aggressive yard signs, the same HOA drama. But today, something was different. Sawyer had just taken a break from her daily ritual of refreshing her inbox—still no word from … Read more
News Puppers Bein’ Pawmical Again. Revoke Their License! 🐾📺 Daddy T says da networks aren’t supposed to play fetch for da Democrat pack. But now it’s so heckin’ outrageous that, in his pupper-opinion, they should get their pedigrees taken away — like, no more walkies for you! Revoke ‘em! MAGA!
NBC Lost the Fetch Game — and Trump’s Not Letting It Slide Heckin’ woof. “Concast’s” hooman-box lost almost 28% of its eyeball yaps this year — that’s a whole lotta snoots turning away. Their yap-yap shows are straight-up ruff, and the treat-givers behind the scenes? Even worse. These folks are wagging tails for the Donkey … Read more
Dems Threw Treats at Celebs for Tail Wags — And That’s a No-No I’m sniffin’ around this giant bag of bones owed by the Dems after the big hooman vote party — and now they’re admitin’ to tossin’ Eleven Million heckin’ Treat Bucks to Beyoncé for a tail wag endorsement (even though she ne’er barked … Read more
You’d think a league that rakes in billions from TV deals, merch, and stadium deals could show a little love to the people who made it all possible: the fans. But nah. Tickets? $500 for the nosebleeds. Beer? $18 and warm. Halftime show? A social lecture wrapped in auto-tune. Oh, and don’t forget the games … Read more
Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne Most people hear “Crazy Train” and think Ozzy Osbourne was just being… well, Ozzy. But the Crazy Train meaning goes deeper than the eyeliner and riffs. And there may be a moment in life when you realize the people running the world don’t actually know what they’re doing. That realization … Read more
Previously on DOOL: Sawyer was pretty sure she hadn’t blinked since 6:45 that morning. Between taking notes on her Kindle Scribe during a Teams staff meeting, filming a shaky demo reel with three bouncy-ball dogs, and cleaning up whatever unholy snack Russo dragged in from the yard, she was fried. She sat cross-legged on the … Read more